Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
