Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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