he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
