I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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