so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
