i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
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