I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
