HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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