At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
