heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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