You work out of a Hotel?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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