I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
