It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My vagina just recognized that song.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
