At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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