if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
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Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i think my cat just said my name.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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