haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He uses pillows to masturbate.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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