Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
it was like eating out sand paper
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize