paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
