I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
