I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Nicole vs. Life
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
