Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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