mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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