he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
