cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize