why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
