i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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