I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
