And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
