She is in my trunk
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Randomize
