Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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