he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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