I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
