i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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