I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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