Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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