Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize