maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
