toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i came on her dog
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
