Who wears a wallet chain?!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
