Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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