I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
