coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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