Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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