I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
