Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
