I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
