He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
