I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
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Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
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you are never too drunk for berry picking
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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