i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
