HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Pants 0. Shit 1.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
