Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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