Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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