I'm jealous of your bromance
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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