In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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