im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
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I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
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In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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