I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Come share oat with me in your robe
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
