is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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