I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
