I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
