You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
