every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
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Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
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We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize