Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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