You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
