...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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