Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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