Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
