Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
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