i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
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We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
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EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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